1. Living Carl Allocco 3:17
  2. Brave Carl Allocco 4:17
  3. I'm Exhausted Carl Allocco 4:50
  4. The Great Society Carl Allocco 3:55
  5. Normal Carl Allocco 3:56
  6. How Carl Allocco 5:26
  7. Love Carl Allocco 3:24
  8. Look Who's Talking Now Carl Allocco 4:41
  9. Monterey Carl Allocco 3:21
  10. Angele Carl Allocco 3:13
  11. The Funny Thing Is . . . Carl Allocco 5:52
  12. Ellen Carl Allocco 4:12

Lyrics

Living

I’m feeling good, not feeling bad
I’m holding on to all I have
I’m spending precious time
I’m doing well . . . I’m living

I’m catching on, not catching up
The past is gone, right now’s enough
And every second’s mine
I’ve tossed my shell . . . I’m living

I’ve finally scaled the wall, I’m bouncing like a ball
I’m rolling like a wheel
And nothing’s really changed, pretty much it’s all the same
except the way I feel

I’ve opened up; I’m letting in
It’s who I touch, not who I’ve been
Each moment I design
No time to dwell . . . I’m living

I’ve finally scaled the wall, I’m bouncing like a ball
I’m rolling like a wheel
And nothing’s really changed, pretty much it’s all the same
except the way I feel

I’m feeling good, not feeling bad
I’m holding on with all I am
And every day I find I’m more myself . . . I’m living
No more just doing time
alive and well . . . I’m living
I’m living . . .
(and I won’t look back so I won’t get in my way
Everything I need if here for me today)

words and music – Carl Allocco

Brave

There are days we shine, we stumble divine
We heavenly fall
And there are moments when what seems like the end is the start of it all
Like a wounded work of art, suspended under camouflage
Courageous in what’s yet to be revealed

Love, fear, such big ideas
I go back and forth
I stand, fall, I sometimes crawl, and sometimes I get caught
Being afraid when I wanna’ be brave

There are reasons why we reach for the sky when pushed to the ground
And all the things we doubt or know nothing about just spin us around
Like a winter waterfall that slows, cascading to a stall
Just waiting for the sun to break the seal

Love, fear, such big ideas
I go back and forth
I stand, fall, I sometimes crawl, and sometimes I get lost
Being afraid when I wanna’ be brave

Some days I wake up small, can’t seem to find myself at all
And believe I’ve not the strength for one more day
If just to run and hide but somewhere, buried, deep inside
A voice I can’t ignore, I hear it say
You’re a hero

Like a child on a swing, whose arms and legs are dangling
But whose joy his apprehension can’t conceal

words & music – Carl Allocco

I'm Exhausted

’m exhausted, bathing in truth
Soaked to the bone, I’m drowning in you
I kick and I scream, I twist and I bend
I decide then I decide again

I’m exhausted, counting the days
How many more ’til I’m far enough away from your face
The sound of your name
You ricochet inside my brain

I want you out of my head, I want you out of my head
I want to feel like me, without the memory of you and everything you said
I want to go back to the day before you and I met
I want you out of my head

‘Cause I’m exhausted . . . ah, what to believe
Were you in love or did you just deceive me
I kick it around, trying to figure it out
Then laugh inside this place I doubt

‘Cause I’m exhausted, self-battered and worn
Where’s my relief, this is taking too long
I toss and I turn, I plead and I beg
I talk to God and this is all can say

I want you out of my head, I want you out of my head
I want to feel like me, without the memory of you and everything you said
I want to go back to the day before you and I met

Can I erase you, ooooh

words and music – Carl Allocco

Normal

The arrogant veneer, the casual display
The talk around the fear that brings the table to the tray
I don’t breathe to step aside, and watch the tournament begin
How I leave means more then how I wondered in

The question of the hour . . . How much of me’s desire
I touch myself ‘cause maybe I am all that I require
I remember where I’ve been, all the voices that I’ve heard
I’ve always focused on the faces, not the words . . .

(CHORUS)
Normal . . . me, I’m so afraid that’s all I’ll ever be
Normal . . . please, is ordinary how you look at me

The calendar is full of days we just attend
The nights are spent regretting what we might’ve done instead
I don’t know what I deserve, I just know it’s not enough
Is there some trick to learn, some secret I can bluff . . .

(CHORUS)
Normal . . . me, I’m so afraid of who I’ll never be
Normal . . . how, I guess it’s up to me to figure out . . .

. . . and don’t want to chase it anymore . . . No

(CHORUS)
Normal . . . me, I’m so afraid that’s all I’ll ever be
Normal . . . now, I guess it’s up to me to figure out . . .
Normal . . . please, is ordinary how you think of me
Normal . . . you, maybe you’re just ordinary, too

words & music – Carl Allocco

The Great Society

If there’s so much magic in the world how come we can’t make all the hate and complication disappear
If there’s so much love inside us all how come we’re constantly comparing one another – well, I fear. . .
Maybe we weren’t meant to fit; we’re just designed to act like this
Intending who we’ll never be . . .
in all these empty lives we lead in this great society

If there’s so much wisdom in the world how come we’ve never figured out a way to learn from our mistakes
Like spoiled little boys and girls, we take for granted but we seldom put a thing back in its place
We’re all so tired and bored of it; we’re self-absorbed and full of shit
We talk about humanity . . .
but so many wind up on their knees in this great society

We all proclaim this all must change; but that’s so inconvenient
So, like before, we find detours to take our minds off who we really are . .

If there’s so much freedom in the world how come I can’t recall the last time I was honest with myself
If there’s compassion in us all how come I can’t forgive that part of me I see in someone else
We love to leave the ones we trust; they always expect too much
then, with our humility . . .
we count the quiet casualties in this great society

words & music – Carl Allocco

How

I don’t know if I can do this anymore, I don’t know what you want from me
‘Cause when I think I’m giving you just what you came here for
It’s always never what it needs to be
And, yes I know, everyone can’t be faithful
And, yes I know, everyone won’t understand
So, what should I do, can you help me
I’m trying to reach you . . . How . . . How

I’m tired of feeling comfortable,
‘cause when you’re too comfortable you fall asleep
It’s time to get up off the easy chair
Just give me something I can hold, something I can touch that I can keep
‘Cause nothing’s worse then feeling lonely with you here
And yes, I know, sometimes words are just to hurt you
And yes, I know, sometimes I’m more of less a man
who can’t seem to move, can you push me
I’m trying to reach you . . . How . . . How

There’s a wall up, is it mine or is it yours
Is what you give to me what I’ve been asking for
‘Because I raise my hand, I stand up straight
but I’ve learned to hesitate ‘cause I don’t know what I’m doing

And yes, I know, sometimes love can be hateful
And yes, I know, sometimes pain changes hands
but we’ve all been abused, so just accept me
I’m trying to reach you . . . How . . . How

words & music – Carl Allocco

Love

All you fanatics, bored with your own lives
trying to muscle in on mine
Well, here’s an issue for you, what about my right
to be left on my own to decide
Well, I guess it makes you feel important
like you’re all doing something worthwhile
With your programs and agendas and your who’s who of offenders
that’s got you marching down the streets
while we’re all running through the aisles

(Chorus)
Well, I’ve got a mind and I’ve got a mouth
and I’ve got two eyes of my own
And I don’t need your flesh to bleed my bones . . .
that ain’t love

How many talk shows can I watch in one day
‘guess it depends upon which channels I can change
And how many topics can I look at from both ways
when all you’re trying to find is who to blame
And if it’s the God in heaven that’s talking through you
well, I hope to hell He’s politically correct
‘Cause these days you can’t be too familiar
and I’d hate to be in your shoes with the wrong sign around your neck
(Chorus)

And what if there isn’t just one answer
What if everybody’s right and everybody’s wrong
While we keep eating at each other like some cancer
Just trying to live up to who we’re dying to belong
(Chorus)

words & music – Carl Allocco

Look Who's Talking Now

You’re getting off on the language, aren’t you
You’re getting tired of the silent point of view
The words backed up in your mouth
I guess you’re letting them out now
Is this the discussion about how
I gave you nothing and I never listened
Look who’s talking now . . .

You’re getting off on the freedom, one by one
All along just repeating what you’ve done
When it gets real you retreat
then blame not feeling complete on
that somebody else until he’s gone
then pity yourself and the life you are missing
Look who’s talking now . . . (blah, blah, blah . . . )

You’re feeling so disconnected, aren’t you
This isn’t what you expected – tell the truth
the world did not open up
in fact, it’s starting to shut down
I hear the parade in the background
another crusade, and again you’re the victim
Look who’s talking now . . . (blah, blah, blah . . . )

words & music – Carl Allocco

Monterey

You don’t know me like you used to, these days I don’t know myself
Where I stand seems too familiar;
who I used to be’s becoming someone else
and now I’m here, where nothing much at all seems clear . . .

Pulled and torn from all directions;
like a soldier caught in someone else’s war
Days seem strange and so peculiar,
No ones’s making sense . . . nothing feels secure
Where to turn . . . there’s something here for me to learn . . .

There’s only so much of yourself you can give away . . .
Monterey

I don’t owe a thing to anyone; there’s nothing more I’m required to do
Let them all apply their pressure;
just remember who they are talking to . . .
Someone real, whose only just begun to feel . . .

You don’t have to understand me
I believe that somehow it’s been understood
And if there’s one thing I am sure of,
to deny yourself does no one any good
Now I know, freedom is just letting go . . .

There’s only so much of yourself you can give away . . .
Monterey

words & music – Carl Allocco

Angele

I once met a girl by the water
gathering sticks she could keep with her stones
carrying bricks and mortar
One day she’s building a place of her own

But, oh, Angele, can’t you see what you’ve let me discover
So, Angele – just close your eyes and you’ll find your way home

Talking a while by the ocean
watching the waves as they swallow the sand
Seldom is sure, the emotion
that rips through your heart as it holds out it’s hand

But, oh, Angele, can’t you see what you’ve let me uncover
So, Angele – just close your eyes and you’ll find your way home

And yes, I hear the time, ticking away – it never stops
Just pay it no mind, their’s only today – and it’s all we’ve got . . .

As she walked away I kept thinking
of too many moments I’ve let slip away
So much of my life I’ve been missing
No more will I let myself stand in my way

And, oh, Angele, can’t you see what you’ve let me discover
So, Angele – just close your eyes and you’ll find your way home
Just close your eyes and you’ll find your way home . . .
Just close your eyes and you’ll find your way home . . .

words & music – Carl Allocco

Ellen

Ellen, don’t be scared; as long as I can breathe I’ll be there
I’ll hold your body close, never let you go – You’ll never feel alone

Ellen, could you please find some of that trust you held for me
You’ve seen it in my face; with me you can feel safe
I can be your home

(Chorus)
And if worlds collide and planets fall
or if sometimes big dreams turn out small
I’ll be right by your side through it all . . .
‘Cause I’m in love with you

Ellen, talk to me; I’ll be the man for you I could never be
Shelter from the pain – you just call my name
Whatever I can do
Ellen, just believe me, I’ll never walk away – I could never leave you
I’ll never shut you out, you’ll never need to doubt
what I feel for you (Chorus)

(Middle)
You’re in me, you begin me – you’re where I start
I’ll protect you, always respect you
I’ll guard your soul . . . your world . . . your heart . . .

So Ellen, come with me; and know that you and I – we were meant to be
Of one thing I am sure, what I feel for you is pure
it’s what I came here for . . .

(Chorus)
And if worlds collide and planets fall
or if sometimes big dreams turn out small
I’ll be right by your side through it all . . .
‘Cause I’m in love with you; yes, I’m in love with you
I’ll always be in love with you . . .

words & music – Carl Allocco

The Funny Thing . . .

Everywhere I look I see connection
I don’t wanna’ be frozen anymore
Chasing after ghosts don’t win elections
I’m giving all that up – bring on the thaw
and no more shadows – no more shame
the masquerade has lost the battle
It’s time I went by my own name
I found I can stand on my two feet
Look mom, no hands – I’m on the edge of my seat

(Chorus)
And the funny thing is . . .
And the funny thing is . . .
And the funny thing is . . . I knew it all the time

I notice eyes that glance in my direction
and when I take the time to touch, I feel
I’ve lost my craving for rejection
Now all I can taste is what is real
and I’m tired of wanting – I already have enough
All this anger I’ve been flaunting
I’ll tell ya’ friends – I’m not so tough
(I’ve) begun demolition on my wall
I’[ve given permission to myself to throw the ball (Chorus)

No more hiding – no more standing still
I’ve been deciding – no more waiting until . . .

Nobodies love makes me complete
Look mom, no hands – I’m on the edge of my seat (Chorus)

words & music – Carl Allocco

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Goodbye Charlie Dog

Release Date : January 1, 2000
Artist : Carl Allocco

Produced by: Carl Allocco
Recorded at: The Dog House –New York, NY
All songs by: Carl Allocco © Arf-Beep Music/SESAC